Differnent Persepctives

Just as our children view the world around them with an entirely different perspective than we do so do others seem to view us as their parents. I have had individuals tell me I am "super mom" and they have no idea how I do it in an almost reverent tone, then I have the opposite end of spectrum in which I have been informed I am a HORRIBLE parent incapable of properly supervising and disciplining my children. Some going so far as to report me to child protected services for neglect because two of my four are what we in the Autism world refer to as "Wanderers".

The "Happy Feet" as we call it has been causing us grief since our second born was about three and pushed his first screen out of a window, his goal to discover the wider world. Of all of our children our second born is our most athletic. Now almost ten he can climb our 6ft privacy fence by merely pulling himself over the top, he doesn't even have to have a foot hold.  Due to our location he is often located by the police before we realize he has vacated the house because his FAVORITE thing to do is to go one block over and walk down the center of the intersection blocking traffic.

I can already hear it. Wait, you mean you don't even realize he was GONE? What kind of parent ARE you? Believe it not the NORMAL kind, the one who has a NORMAL life with four very BUSY kids who just happen to get into some very UNUSUAL situations because they have no concept of danger. However they all do have healthy doses of curiosity, energy, and imagination. Let me give you an example with our most recent escapade.

Caleb was happily playing one of his favorite games (we call it "Dying Fish") behind me. This game involves flopping on a bed while burrowing through all of the covers giggling his head off. I was attempting to make a phone call to set up school physicals for all the boys. Over the giggling I hear the patter of running feet. I think notthing of it since my oldest son's room is located above me until I hear the door bell ring. (Establishing a GOOD relationship with your neighbors is KEY.) It is James, telling me he thinks he saw my third born on the roof. As this would NOT be a new thing I go to investigate. Sure enough my third born who is 7 has REMOVED the window from our upstairs bath and laundry room and BOTH he and his 5 year old brother are playing Pirate on the roof (In full costume by the way.) Now since I had only seen them 5 minutes before this in the Wreck Room (Yes we DO spell it with a W.) How they managed to do this still has me baffled, not an unusual occurrence.

It takes ME about 10 minutes to chase them OFF the roof and another 15 to figure out HOW to get the window back in. I get back down stairs and my bed is STILL bouncing and giggling. I think it is Caleb but fail to pull back the covers and look. I get back on the phone to call the Doctor's office back. (Trying to get a Doctor that is willing to take on four kids let alone see all of them at once is a feat in an of itself, really you don't want to lose them.) While talking to them the door bell rings again.... yep our friendly neighborhood Policemen who have picked Caleb up AGAIN. Apparently as soon as I walked out the door he did too, turning off the alarm and over the fence. The bouncing kid on the bed? My youngest who had gone to our bed to hide after getting in trouble for the roof incident.

The majority of my life is spent attempting to be PROACTIVE rather than REACTIVE. The problem is you can never be entirely sure just what exactly my boys will come up with next. Each of them is so different, and that is normal for ANY family. No two children are EVER alike and birth order DOES play a part in how they relate to one another but then you add to that where they fall on the spectrum as well and it certainly adds a whole other aspect to each of them.

My youngest is on the highest end of the spectrum but for whatever reason loves to chew on wires. Headset wires, IPod, mouse, Phone chargers, etc. so trying to find places to PUT these necessary lines yet keep them out of reach of the over grown "bunny" gets difficult. At the same time he can is very dependent on routine, he needs to sit in the SAME spot every day, follow the same schedule and is very resistant to meeting new people and new situations. Though having his brothers around helps ease these transitions. He is also very fixated on specific things like the color yellow and HATES Thunderstorms.

My Third born can at times be the MOST difficult because he is the most focused on what he wants to achieve, seldom changing his focus. Yet he is also the most charming and funny of the four. If he wants something he WILL get it even if you put it out of reach for the time being. Case and point he wanted to go visit his friend who lives directly behind us. He was quiet about it for over a month, then we caught him with a small handsaw from his Grandfather's tool bag. He was diligently attempting to cut a hole through our back fence. This is also the child that you are trying NOT to laugh the entire time you discipline him because he is just so blasted FUNNY while he does it. I mean, he wanted to see his friend so..."I'm making my own gate Mom." The kid will make a FORTUNE in comedy with some of these stories when he grows up that is for certain. He only has two speeds, dead run and asleep. This makes trying to get him to sit quietly an impossibility so you just try to get him to run circles around you while you toss instructions at him in hopes he catches on as he goes by. His catch phrase? "Don't worry Mom..."

My Oldest is a typical first born. The protector, he watches out for all of his brothers and bosses them incessantly, becoming frustrated when they don't do as he dictates. This can be both a good thing and a bad thing as he is an extra set of eyes but bad as he frequently becomes so concerned with what they are NOT doing he forgets what HE is responsible for. Trying to teach him priorities is the focus at this point. He is almost 12 and starting Jr High. Unlike my 2nd and 4th born who cling to routine, my first born seems to reject routine unless it requires bossing other people. Come in the door and hang up my book bag? No thank you I prefer to throw it on the floor even though you have been asking me to hang it and my coat up since I was in Pre K. Pick my room up every morning before coming downstairs? Oh I forgot, even though My daily routine expectations are POSTED in my room as a reminder. Now ask me what my BROTHERS are suppose to do and I can give you a COMPETE run down but that is another story.

Now we have my Second born, who is mostly none verbal and  EXTREMELY athletic. He LOVES water and is SILLY.  I thank God for that giggle as it has helped me countless times to find him when he goes hiding. He has always liked tight spaces so crawling under beds, into toy boxes, closets, containers, even the TOILET have provided countless hours of entertainment for him, minor heart attacks for his father and I. As he has grown in size and climbing ability his range has also increased as has his ability to cause me anxiety. Thankfully when he has swimming he does well. However I can't send him to the pool for several hours every day and living in a northern climate even if we could AFFORD to put a pool in our back yard it would only be available a few months a year. Jumping on our trampoline does help a little as well but when his routine gets disrupted or he gets agitated sometimes those feet just get itchy.

At the moment we are working on a plan to get us through the next few years, sure supervision is part of it but it will only get us so far no matter WHAT CPS thinks, they are ALL boys and no kid wants their parents with them 24/7 or checking on them every 5 or10 minutes, you may be able to get away with that with a toddler, but as they enter the tween years they don't care for it and my nine year old is already expressing his distress at having  Mom and Dad at his shoulder constantly.  The hard part is finding a happy medium, a way to make sure I can keep them safe with out going crazy or driving THEM crazy.